Three Cups, One Throne (Dunkin’ vs Starbucks vs Luckin’) - NeuraPump MBA Case Study

Three Cups, One Throne (Dunkin’ vs Starbucks vs Luckin’) - NeuraPump MBA Case Study

Genre: NeuraPump Broadway Tango × Funk MBA March × Satirical Rap

“One caffeinated the highway. The other colonized the mind.”

▶ “One caffeinated the highway. The other coloni-nized the mind.” The newer!

🎬 [Intro — Boardroom Bebop]

Dunkin' drops it hot and cheap,

Starbucks plots the rents too steep. 🏢💸

Nestlé carts frappes in aisle three,

While Luckin' slings cups two-for-three! 🎯🤑

Third Space dreams at China’s door,

Met brick walls and discount wars. 🧱💥

One latte's luxe, one fills the floor,

Guess who cashes in some more? Uh? 🧮🎉

🧠 [Verse 1 — Numbers Talk, Drama Walk]

2019, Starbucks grand parade,

China shined, new billions made! 💵

But COVID slammed and wallets tight,

Nine yuan lattes stole the night! ☕🐉

Luckin’ danced, the pyramid swayed,

Starbucks leases... overpaid. 🏚️💸

High-end space? Cool in song,

But deadweight when recession’s long. 📉📉

🧮 [Hook — Crunch Me or Crumble]

Dunkin' says, "Cut the jazz,

One buck donut, two buck jazz!" 🍩🎶

Volume wins when cash gets thin,

Stack the cups and dive right in! ☕☕☕☕

Starbucks plays the brand allure,

"Third Space? Rent more? Are you sure?" 🏢🚪

Nestlé clones frappes for carts,

Margins bleed in grocery marts! Woo? Yeah! 💥🛒

🧠 [Verse 2 — MBA Analyst Roast]

I got 'em! Dunkin’ sips a 40% pour,

Drinkers up from 'twenty-four. Oh, boy! 📈🚀

While Starbucks keeps the swanky pace,

Dunkin’ punches by unit case! 📦👊

Uh! Nestlé plugs the supermarket shelf,

Starbucks cuts itself in stealth. 🔪☕

Channel conflict? Brand fatigue?

Margin splits like hairlines league. 🧠🪞

Meanwhile Luckin' slings like fire,

Ten RMB, no space required! 🏪💥

Towering leases? Who's their clown?

Squeeze the latte, drop the crown! 👑📉

🎤 [Bridge — Jargon Jungle Beat]???

TAM shrink? (Gross margins slide!)

Gross margin slide? (L&P stutter!) 🛒

S-curve stutter? (Opex blow out!)

Opex blowout? (No!) 🚫

KPI spin? (Like TikTok reels!)

Brand cannibal? (Discount deals!) 🍴

Moat erosion? (Pyramid cries...)

Unit economics? (Luckin flies!) 🚀☕🚀

🎪 [Final Verse — Empire or Pyramid Scheme?]

You! Dunkin' stacks cups wide and thick,

Starbucks flaunts a magic trick: 🎩🐇

Third Space vibe, but at what cost?

Luxury leases bleeding frost. Uh! ❄️

Nestlé grins, their margin lean,

China's gold turned bargain scene. 🐉🪙

Dunkin’ wins by going wide—

One coffee river, endless tide. 🌊🌊🌊

🎤 [Final Hook — Dance the Pyramid or Fly?]

Dance the pyramid or fly?

Stack the cups, kiss the sky! 🏰🌌

Starbucks' dream was bold and grand,

But Dunkin' hugs the working land! 👷‍♂️☕

Price talks louder when storms collide,

Luckin' laughs from the discount ride! 😂☕

Flash the logo, or fill the cup?

Three thrones fight, but who stands up? Yo?! 👑🎤

📜 [Program Note — NeuraPump MBA Case Study]

Fly the markets, map the mind,

Stack the dreams, outpace the blind,

Build not thrones, but rivers wide,

NeuraPump Cubs — the world’s new tide! 🌊🔥

Shred the charts, ignite the skies,

Punch the past, let futures rise,

Don't sip dreams — flood them loud,

March like thunder, sing like crowds! ⚡🎤🌎