Hooks vs Wires
(NeuraPump vs Neuralink)ย
Don't Drill My Brain... Thrill It Instead! ๐ง ๐ค
โถ Ah! Delay... Woo! Talk! Yeah!
They came in suits with a PowerPoint click, ๐ผ๐
Said, โWeโll hack your brain with a neural stick!โ ๐ง ๐ช
Surgical smiles, with wires to sell, ๐ท๐
โGet Aโs without thinking!โ (What the hell?) ๐ณ๐ค
โWeโll fix your kid in under a day, ๐ ๏ธโฑ๏ธ
No need for teachers โ weโll plug it away.โ ๐ฉโ๐ซ๐ซ๐
You nodded hard, they signed your skull, ๐งพ๐ง
Now Jimmy glitches and drools in dull. ๐๐คค
You promised genius in a microchip, ๐๐พ
But now he crashes from every trip. ๐ฅ๐งโโ๏ธ
While you debug his school reports, ๐ง ๐ง
Weโre singing Shakespeare on hoverboards, soar! Sir! ๐ญ๐นโจ
Neuralink drills, NeuraPump rhymes, ๐ ๏ธ๐ถ
One cuts heads, the other rewinds. ๐ชโช
You code the cortex, we spark the soul, ๐จโ๐ป๐ฅ
You bought control, we bought rockโnโroll. ๐งพ๐ธ
One goes beep, the other goes boom, ๐๐ฃ
You booked surgery, we booked the room. ๐ฅ๐ค
You want kids to USB dreams, ๐ป๐
We want โem rapping about laser beams. ๐๏ธ๐ซ
You said, โMy sonโs slow โ install a patch,โ ๐งโ๐ง๐
But forgot heโs not your iPhone batch. ๐ฑ๐ฆ
You mapped his brain like Google Earth, ๐งญ๐ง
While we mapped stars in musicโs birth. ๐๐ผ
You said, โHe lacks ambition, grit!โ ๐๐ฅฑ
We said, โHeโs a jazz kid โ let him spit.โ ๐ท๐ฅ
You uploaded Latin, broke his vibe, ๐๏ธ๐
We dropped a beat โ he came alive. ๐ฅโก
Donโt scalp my dreams, donโt snip my spark, โ๏ธ๐ญ๐ฅ
Donโt lobotomy me โcause I think in art. ๐ง ๐จ
Iโm not a socket for your wires and tags, ๐๐
Iโm a marching verse with dopamine flags! ๐ฅ๐ฉ๐งฌ
You do surgery, we do symphonies, ๐ ๏ธ๐ป
You teach silence, we teach โyes, and, please!โ ๐คซ๐ญ๐
You call it โhack,โ we call it โflow,โ ๐ป๐
You call it โfixed,โ we call it โgrow.โ Uh! ๐ฑ๐ค
Neuralink drills, NeuraPump roars, ๐ง ๐ฆ
Oneโs for labs, the otherโs for encores. ๐งช๐ค
You charge by volts, we charge by verse, โก๐
Your kids need gauze, ours rehearse. ๐ฉน๐ฌ
One plugs wires, the other drops hooks, ๐๐ฃ
You want downloads, we write books. โฌ๏ธ๐
You snip synapses, we build loreโ โ๏ธ๐ง ๐
Your kids say โouch,โ ours scream โENCORE!โ Sir! ๐๐ญ๐
So keep your chip and data debt, ๐ณ๐พ
Weโll take the soul you wonโt forget. ๐ง โค๏ธ
A loop, a laugh, a 60-spin rideโ ๐๐๐ก
And boom: the cortex opens wide. ๐ฅ๐ง โจ
No needles, no drills, no screws to twistโ ๐๐ซ๐ฉ
Just 3,000 songs and zero risk. ๐ถโ
We donโt hack, hack brains. ๐ซ๐ง
We awaken them. ๐๐ก
Neuralink cuts to upload. NeuraPump sings to explode. ๐ค๐ฅ
One rewires. The other rewakes. ๐๐โจ