Oops! My Dish Soap Turned Into Slime - Alex, the Alchemist - MCAT Chemistry
It wasn’t a mess — it was an exothermic masterpiece.
▶ "It wasn’t a mess — it was an exothermic masterpiece."
Last Tuesday night, in Mom’s clean domain,
I borrowed her blender to “test protein chains.”
Mixed dish soap with eggs, vinegar too,
Declared it a buffer — counted it blew out the flue!
Hydrogen bonds did a tango with grease,
A surfactant samba — peace, deceased.
Polarity flipped like a TikTok trend,
Hydrophobic drama… that will never end.
I called it art, but the kitchen sued,
The fridge now speaks in molecule moods.
The fire alarm beatboxed in C-flat,
While the cat hissed, “I'm not cleaning that.”
Emulsification? Insubordination!
Micelles rioted — full chemical nation.
My beaker screamed, “I’m sentient now!”
Then leapt from the counter with a “ka'ow!”
Oops! My dish soap turned into slime!
Polymer chains did the Harlem Time.
It stuck to my soul, my thesis draft,
Even the ghost of Avogadro laughed.
Oops! The dog’s been renamed “Hydroxide,”
He glows in the dark, demands stir-fry.
Mom yelled, “Explain this in a chart!”
So I drew phase diagrams... in farts.
Catalyst? Nope. Teen derangement.
Entropy rising like midterm engagement.
I stirred borate, glucose, shame,
Watched my GPA burst into flame.
Even GPT said, “Bro, not right.”
My slime pitched itself on Shark Tank that night.
Rheology rules? I danced the phase,
Wrote sonnets in slime and set them ablaze.
Covalent bonds tried to elope,
While pH levels scrolled “no hope.”
Kinetic or emotional pain?
This beaker cries like my 10th grade brain.
Osmosis whispered, “I miss my wall.”
Then osmotically wept down the hall.
It oozed through tiles, it called my name:
“Kid, you’re why science went insane.”
Oops! My dish soap transcended form,
Filed taxes, morphed into a dorm.
It gave a TED Talk on synthetic tears,
Then vanished screaming, “I run careers!”
Oops! The mop wrote a haiku goodbye,
Dad moved out — muttered, “The slime is why.”
But beneath the mess, a truth still shone:
“Science isn’t clean. It’s cloned in unknown.”
Then slime declared itself “Chemical Pope,”
Blessed the spatula, slid down the slope.
Canonized soap as “Saint Detergent,”
My GPA fled — “This is urgent.”
Molarity sobbed in a Shakespeare tone,
Gibbs free energy ghosted its phone.
I tried to balance the ionic parade—
Slime said, “Too late. I got tenure today.”
“You aimed for Harvard, I chose absurd.
You studied hard — your future’s... curd.”
So when your mop just tries to phone home,
Don’t call it a spill. Don’t call it crime.
Call it... the day your cortex learned to slime.
We sing of soap, of bonds, of fate,
Of beaker dreams and osmosis ha-ate.
Of glitter truths and sinks that scream,
And the toilet that… still holds the meme. 🚽💥
From: Principal Maverick, Hanlin Institute
Subject: Unleashing Your Child’s Inner Alchemist—With Family Safety, Science, and Wonder
Dear Parents Around the World,
As Principal of Hanlin Institute, and as a fellow parent, I write to you at a special moment in education. For the first time in history, children as young as 3 or 5 can begin learning concepts once reserved for college—chemistry, physics, and the marvels of the universe—through stories, songs, and unforgettable adventures like those of Alex, the Alchemist.
But with great curiosity comes great responsibility.
Today, your child may watch a musical about sodium, potassium, or see a comic where Alex’s wild experiments create spectacular explosions. This is the magic of science—the same spark that lights the minds of inventors and Nobel laureates. But it also brings a clear and urgent duty for every family: to keep that spark safe, healthy, and constructive.
At Hanlin, we believe children should never be limited by the “ceiling” of the curriculum. Yes, your child can explore the wonders of MCAT-level chemistry, build models of atoms, or perform simple kitchen-safe experiments. But some chemicals and reactions are truly dangerous—and must remain only in the imagination, in cartoons, or in supervised laboratory settings.
What Every Parent Must Know:
Never allow children to handle dangerous chemicals (like potassium metal, sodium metal, strong acids, or concentrated hydrogen peroxide) at home—these are not safe for non-professionals, regardless of curiosity or ability.
Household science = kitchen chemistry only: Safe, simple activities with baking soda, vinegar, table salt, sugar, etc.
If your child’s curiosity is sky-high, promise them a visit to a professional laboratory (with safety training and adult supervision) rather than “do-it-yourself” at home.
No online video, song, or comic can replace your direct supervision. Be there, watch closely, and turn every learning moment into a safe, shared discovery.
As Alex, the Alchemist becomes the new idol for millions of children, parents face higher standards than any generation before. Your role is not just to “allow learning,” but to be an active coach, co-explorer, and—most importantly—a safety guardian.
Your Action Checklist:
Learn the basics of chemical safety—just like any new student entering a lab:
Never mix unknown chemicals, especially from cleaning products, batteries, or old science kits.
Know the “danger list”: Anything labeled “corrosive,” “explosive,” “flammable,” or “toxic” is for adult professionals only.
Understand household “do not mix” rules: e.g., bleach + ammonia = toxic gas; vinegar + bleach = dangerous.
Have regular science talks: Ask your child what they learned, what they want to try, and remind them: “Cool experiments are for safe places, with adults watching—never alone, never with things from the garage or under the sink.”
Celebrate mistakes safely: If a kitchen experiment fails, laugh together! But if your child ever tries something risky, take it seriously—turn it into a family lesson on real-world safety.
Hanlin’s mission is not just to teach facts, but to help every child grow into a brave, creative, and responsible citizen of tomorrow’s world. We want Alex, the Alchemist’s adventures to inspire curiosity—not copycat risks.
What We Ask of Every Alchemist’s Family:
Full supervision, full participation. Every time your child sings, builds, or imagines themselves as Alex, be there. Science is a family journey.
Parent training for the future: Just as pilots take safety training, so should parents of “young scientists.” Learn the basics; seek resources from Hanlin and trusted organizations.
Lead by example: Show your child how real scientists respect both discovery and safety rules. Celebrate both curiosity and caution.
With the right guidance, your child can learn college-level science while staying safe, happy, and endlessly curious. They’ll invent, create, and one day solve the world’s greatest challenges. But let’s make sure they get there safely, with all their fingers, smiles, and dreams intact.
If you ever have questions, need resources, or want help building a safe learning environment, Hanlin Institute is here for you.
Let’s raise the world’s first generation of “Alchemist Kids” who are as wise as they are brilliant—where every explosion is in the imagination, every discovery is safe, and every lesson is shared with those we love.
With gratitude, partnership, and hope,
Principal Maverick
Hanlin Institute
Global Elites Network (GEN)
P.S.
If in doubt—don’t experiment alone. Science is always more fun (and safer!) together.